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Andy Zaltzman
Andy "Iron Dog" Zaltzman renowned for his pioneering work on the WILDLY popular podcast The Bugle with friend and collaborator John Oliver. Andy watches the news from typcial Euro Cretin perspective in London, while John keeps tabs on the NYC political circle jerks in New York, and once a week they come together to create the Bugle from the help of a magical telecomunicationary device known as the telephone. Among Andy’s notable contribution to the Bugle are: the irregular Bugle Blog, the late, lamented Audio Cryptic Crossword, and perhaps his greatest strength; lying. Education and Early Life As a child Andy attended the Tonbridge Boarding School for the Exceptionally Exceptional, then attended Oxford University where he studied the Clasics and had the post of sports editor for The Oxford Student newspaper. Andy himself, has stated that this expensive education was an unequivocal waste of money, as evident upon looking at his work on the Bugle. Brigadier Andy Zaltzman first came to international attention when he attended the final of the Swansea scrabble tournemant. Commentators described his spectating style as a "laid back, intelligent style of watching" and he was particularly praised for not losing his cool when the umpire allowed the word "jaffacake" to stand despite the collection of letters blatantly violating every rule in the book, and considering the regrettable role of said popular snack in the future death by choking of his long lost brother Gareth Zaltzman. Gareth Zaltzman met Andy the day before the tragic events where madmen Nils Olav and Ralph Paoli, disguised as a penguin which was itself disguised as Charles Dickens and the Island of Corsica respectively, distracted him with a plate of jaffa cakes whilest continually shoving Skittles down his throat until the twitching stopped. Career Zaltzman is known for his work with fellow pod-führer John Oliver on such projects as The Department and Political Animal (both on BBC radio 4). He has also been featured on BBC radio 4’s The Now Show and The News Quiz, as well as BBC4’s Never Mind the Full Stops and The Late Edition. Zaltzman has also appeared in major festivals such as Edinburgh Fringe and Melbourne International Comedy Festival, at which he was presented the prestigious “piece of wood” award in 2007 by his fellow comedians. Conspiracies *Andy's Bin *Impala Armed Forces Cupboard Inhabiting Skeletons Here are some interesting facts not widely known about Mr. Zaltzman: *Andy spent some time as a Private Eye from the 1920's, but is only able to penetrate the psychological barriers he unconsciously placed around those memories, when he attempts to speak with an American accent. *Andy is famed for his brief spell in Hollyoaks where he played Resident Rent Boy Isaac *Andy started life as an unused character from Little Britain series 3, to be played by Matt Lucas. *After being falsely identified as ferret smuggler in 1997, the FBI since has kept tabs on Zaltzman. Andy stubbornly refuses to acknowledge that FBI doesn't stand for "Former Backgammon Instigator," so no real harm done *Andy has been unable to shake the rumours the he is fact Lord Lucan. Note: for more ambiguous facts regarding Mr. Zaltzman, see also the Andy Zaltzman Memorial Misinformation Page. Sources In a testament to Mr. Zaltzman, much of this article has been stolen from Wikipedia, and the rest is a combination of fantastical assumption and lies. Category:People